I have come to the conclusion that this is not about me. THIS [as in most of the mess I am in] is a result of the mess my family has brought upon themselves and I, my fathers first born child, am caught in the crossfire. We, the children, are reaping the fruits of their labor. My brother, intercepted something that was meant for my mother. My immediate family and I are suffering because of the unwise decisions my father continues to make.
I can continue to be sad, depressed, upset, frustrated, and complain. However, complaining brings forth no change. Complaining will not uproot the devil from my house. It will only make me sick, and keep that cycle of depression and frustration spinning.
Therefore, it is time that I stop being a lil punk and put on the full armor of Christ. This is not a battle I can win in my own strength, BUT I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST JESUS WHO IS MY STRENGTH.
I think I'm beginning to understand what my dreams meant. I think I know what I have to do now. I can't remain quiet and fearful any longer. GOD HAS NOT GIVEN ME A SPIRIT OF FEAR BUT OF POWER, LOVE, AND A SOUND MIND.
I will say this - She will regret the day she ever decided to mess with my family. I have become angry, but not in the sense that you would think...
NOW IS THE TIME FOR THOSE WHO ARE SERIOUS ABOUT THE LORD TO STEP UP TO THE FRONT LINES - IF YOU'RE NOT READY TO BLEED, WHY ARE YOU HERE?