2.19.2009

Checkin In

Its been a while since I've posted anything here. Mostly because I haven't been on the internet, but that's because I have been doing what I do best - internalizing my stress. Just when I think I'm beginning to have a grasp at who I am - NOPE! I'm still not really sure... I don't know what I feel... Its pretty funny how God works, though. One Sunday at church He told me to write it all out - at the time I had no motivation to write. I tried to write and it never really came out the way I had hoped it would, but lately its as if I'm writing my insides on paper. Things I didn't even know were in me keep flowing from my pen to my little notebook. The words keep coming. Tears keep falling, most times I don't even know what for. But they flow. In the midst of it all I still have my joy - even when I want to be mad there is still a smile on my face. Its interesting to me.

This place I'm in, its strange...

Its different...

Its uncomfortable...

Yet I can't help but believe something good is going to come from all of this. God keeps telling me to keep pushing. I never listened to any Avril Lavigne song the way I heard "Keep Holdin On." That song did something for my spirit. So I guess I have to fight on - No matter what I see, hear, think, or feel.

I'll share some of me with the next few postings - some of the works may be unfinished idk what I'm going to post just yet. We'll see...