New Year Thoughts

The year of new beginning
The only thing that seemed to begin
was a new level of self doubt and frustration
new hurts
unexpected pains
and at the end of the year there was a new change
a push
a shift
to take me out of what seemed so comfortable
a new way of thinking
a new way of living
like a caterpillar ready to go to the cocoon
The transition
living life knowing
I'm meant to turn into something beautiful
Spending my days
Waiting for the change
A safe location needs to be found to allow the transformation to take place
So toward the end of the year of new beginnings
I've been lead to a new place
A new way of seeing
A new level of worship
A new place to call home
Now I enter 2009
The year of Divine completeness in the Lord
The year to produce fruits
The year to begin building the cocoon
the time has come for a transformation
My life has been a build up
In anticipation of becoming a butterfly
Time to begin the process
For without the process beginning
I'll never know the true vision of the beauty God intended me to be
What will I look like?
What intricate design will be on my wings?
When the process is finished
We will all see...

Peace... Be Still

So I have a friend who I love who wrote a song called Peace Be Still. While I've never done a praise dance before I had to do one over the weekend at the Slaughter House / Tribe of Judah retreat. Part of the performance included some poetry inspired by the song. It was a combination of 3 poems one written by myself one written by BJ and one by Audry. We each wrote our poems separately as we listened to the song and then somehow they just flowed together for the sake of the performance - I call that the Holy Spirit lol. When it came time to dance - I was pretty nervous because I've never done a praise dance before and we didn't really have time to practice our peice but I think those are the ones that come out the best. When they are just Spirit lead. I didn't think I would be able to dance like that infront of people who are dancers and yet once the song came on my body just started moving. It was pretty cool. Not as scary as I thought it would be. Anyway - here is on 3rd of the poem that we wrote for the performance.

I know that I can do all things through Christ
The Lord never gives me more than I can bear
But this pain
This storm
Is slowly eating me up inside
The winds are blowing
Its growing cold
I know trials come to build faith
And this is supposed to cause me to grow
But how can you grow if you're drowning?
(this is where the poem ends for performance)
A seed drenched in water dies
Lord this rain is killing me
I have no words left
Be still
The storms in my life have me so cold
Im numb
While all things are supposed to work together
For my good
I can't see through this rain
All I hear is thunder
Nothing makes sense
Be still