I AM TIRED

This is enough. I can no longer take it. I am tired of being blamed for things that have nothing to do with me. YOU DON'T LIKE YOURSELF!! This has nothing to do with me and I'm tired of being the scape goat. You will never be able to accept love from anyone until you learn to love yourself. You can never begin to love yourself until you realize you don't love your self and identify why you don't love yourself. I wish people would see that. Me not doing what you think in your mind I should do for you (even though we all know I'm not capable of) means I don't love you now? OK - that's absurd! Just because people don't express love for you the way you want them to love you doesn't mean they don't love you. That's the same way people develop these notions that God hates them because He doesn't do what you want Him to do on your time - So now God (who IS love) doesn't love you. NONSENSE!!

I'm just tired. I can only help you so much... IF you don't want to help yourself there is nothing anyone can do for you. You want to remain stagnant... that's fine. HOWEVER DO NOT blame me or get upset with me because you are unhappy with your situation! You can take a cow to the water but you can't force it to drink. I'm tired... I have a headache... This IS too much.


Why do I always have to be the bigger person?
Why do I always have to be the one who has it together?
Why do I always have to be THE ONE?
MAN THIS IS HARD!!!
THIS IS UNFAIR!!!

But God doesn't work in what man deems to be fair...

This is the cost...

This
is
the
cost

* i know that there's more that You require of me...*

Long suffering is no joke...
Thank you Lord for being so patient with me...
Please give me patience to endure the things that you would have me to.

MAN...

*sigh*